We usually get trapped in different critical situations, where we needed to choose between two things, one is 'some work, favor or anything related to our loved ones'. The loved ones may be our parents, our other family members, close friends, etc. And the other thing is 'our very own work'. This work may be of any kind, for a student, it may be a home assignment as well. After getting trapped in such a situation, what we do?
Before beginning, recall any event and think about what you did in such a situation.
Now, let's break it more;
Whenever we are trapped in such two phasic situations, where we are unable to do them both at the same time, we usually use to choose the one that pleases others. Let's discuss this with the help of an example.
Suppose as a student you are given a home assignment and you have to complete it in the evening but at the same time, you have to take your parents out for any marriage party. You are very well aware that assignment is more important than anyone's marriage party. Assignment, in one way or the other, will directly affect your career and your future and you are very well aware of this fact even then you'll choose to go to marriage with parents just to please your parents.
Don't say, I'll be doing an assignment instead of going to marriage. Everyone is well known about the mentality of a child, student, etc (leaving the exceptions and considering the majority)
The reason behind this;
As the majority of the people will do that marriage portion and not the assignment portion, what's the reason behind this?
Why we don't want to do our very own work?
Why we work to please others?
Why we use to ignore our own happiness and work for the happiness of others?
The answer to these questions is quite simple. We are grown up in an atmosphere where we focus more on the happiness of others. Others mainly the people we like and love. We're treated the way since our childhood that we are completely unaware of saying 'No'. In the same way, you found it difficult to say No to our Parents in the marriage case as well, as I presented above. If you would be straightforward, bold enough to represent ourselves, then was it difficult to explain the whole situation to your parents and saying No to marriage. It would be as simple as drinking a glass of water. I know this comparison may be a little shitty. So, bother me for this.
Now coming to another reason that is majorly related to our psychology and a little our human tendency. This includes a little satisfaction and pleasure. Doing home assignment wasn't a job of pleasure and we are so psychologically addicted to pleasure and satisfaction that we frequently ignore the consequences of the things. We always wanted to do the things that satisfy us and please us without realizing the fact of its after-effects. Without realizing the effects of not doing the home assignment, you will be enjoying the marriage party just for a short term enjoyment, having not any significance in real sense.
Now, What to do?
The answer is simple and really doesn't involve any rocket science or some light equations. The only thing you need to understand is the importance of everything and also the way you perceive things and reaping to the whole situation. You need to realize the consequences of everything you do whether it's spending time with friends or with books, whether it's hanging out with mates or solving trigonometric equations. You're required to act maturely in every situation, understanding the after-effects of everything you do. Doing something just to please someone is nothing but absurdity, that is basically affecting you and you only. So stop working for the satisfaction of others. Working for self-satisfaction brings peace, happiness, and more importantly a feeling of achievement and prosperity.
So, start working for yourself first. Helping others isn't bad but going out of the way to help others doesn't make any sense.
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